Movie Maven

Austin Powers in Goldmember
Starring: Mike Myers, Beyonce Knowles, Seth Green, Verne Troyer
Written by: Mike Myers
Directed by: Jay Roach
Official Website

(Photo courtesy of Projections-Movies.com)

Your beloved Movie Maven has been despondent lately. I, along with Roommate #1, are moving out and into a new apartment, while Roommate #2 will be departing our company for greener pastures (and far better housing) across campus. Roommate #2 was packing up this past weekend, taking down posters, throwing things in plastic bags- always a bittersweet endeavor. To lift our spirits, we decided to see what crappy Friday night movie was playing on the little Toshiba. To our surprise and delight we found the perfect antidote to pre-moving melancholy: Austin Powers in Goldmember.

What a fabulously ridiculous mess Myers created when he wrote this movie. Though not nearly as funny or well-executed as his first two Bond-spoofs, it has its own derivative charm. It's the same old gag, of course. Austin (Myers) is the international man of mystery, Dr. Evil (also Myers) is his nemesis, along with Evil's clone, Mini Me (Troyer.) The girl in this case in Foxxy Cleopatra (Beyonce Knowles,) a play on Pam Grier and the blaxploitation films of the 1970s. There's a host of other characters, some new and some from the previous films. It's a comforting film by not throwing you for any loops- you laugh because you laughed at the same jokes in the previous movies.

Myers one failing was actually the title character: Goldmember, a Dutch 70s playboy, who eats his own flaking skin and is named because of an unfortunate, ahem, smelting accident. "I like goooooolllld," he yells at odd moments. Like Fat Bastard before him, Goldmember is disgusting without being remotely funny- and yes, gross-out humor is funny when applied correctly (see the infamous Van Wilder eclair scene for confirmation.) For some reason when Myers is in Goldmember's character, his impeccable timing goes completely off. It's almost as if Myers himself knows how bad a creation this character was, and has basically just given up.

Though Goldmember may be a complete loss, the other characters are surprisingly funny. One of my favorites has always been Scott Evil, Dr. Evil's son (played by sharp and adorable Seth Green.) Green doesn't even really have to do or say anything: one glance of pure hatred at Mini Me, or look of disbelief at his father's idiocy has me completely in stitches. Similarly wonderful is Michael Caine as Nigel Powers, Austin's absent father. Caine, of course, is completely overqualified for the job, but seems to be having the time of his life. He settles into character easily, dignity and charm oozing from every pore.

Though every fiber of my being is telling me that this movie is a complete waste of time, I can't help but love Myers and his silliness. Though he takes many disguises in Goldmember, he's simply the best when he's Austin Powers, the horny spy with a sensitive side. When he's on the screen, all reason goes out the window, and all you want to do is laugh.